I saw this written on my phones’ notes, I was actually assuming that I already have a blog then.
I wanted to post this because the day I wrote it was one of the very rare memorable day of my life.
It was indeed a nice day for me, Honestly I didn’t pray kanina sa simbahan, nahihiya kay god dahil magdadasal kapag may kailangan lang, but then hindi niya pa den ako or should I say kame, hindi pa ren niya kame pinabayaan ng family ko.
This day it was supposed to be my worst day but god didn’t let that happen, instead he again introduces himself to me for the nth time.
I’m always lost, lage ako naliligaw ng landas but he never failed to lead me back again, he really never leave my side, kahet sa totoo ako na ang lumalayo.
This day kase nilaan ko on talking with my family about my problem, but it happened that Hindi ko naishare lahat, but it ended already and I actually wanted to leave it that way, not to really keep it but instead to let it go, alam ko its hard pero nagagawa ko pa din naman.
Nakagaan ng kalooban at pasanin na malamang hindi naman pala ganoon kataas ang expectations ng parents ko sa akin, at the end of everything narealize ko or should I say na ipinarealize saken ni God na ako lang talaga ang may problema, ako itong sinasapian ng kung ano ano, siguro nga dahil sa lack of faith and prayer sa kanya kaya napababayaan ko na ang sarili ko, I should’ve offered myself to him, dahil alam at dama ko naman na sa ganoong paraan mas gagaan ang lahat sa buhay ko, masyado nanaman akong nagpapasakop sa kung sino kaya nagkakaganito nanaman ako, nabubuhay nanaman ako ng malayo sa realidad ng buhay ko, at kung saan saang lupalop pa ako ng utak ko ang nararating ko.
Well this blog is to actually thank GOD, (Yes I know na hindi kailangan idinadaan sa pagblog ang pagpapasalamat sa kanya) pero ako lang to sa sarili ko kase I wanted to write it, kase feeling ko mas naririnig niya ako *call it weird* pero yan talaga ang nararamdaman ko, —- lets go back again.. To thank God for giving me the chance to talk to my parents and to let them know what I feel and vise versa, thanks because he is actually leading me to the real me and not to the one that I just created out of curiosity, and thank him for letting my cousin talked to me about him, sharing me the blessings that he bestowed to each and everyone of us that made me realize that he was real, grabe sagad na pala ako sa kapabayaan ko, I know its late for this semester, but still i’ll try to make this work as much as I can, and promise to make things right for the next semester, and yes again for the nth time I am actually begging for his guidance to lead me to where I really belong, and make me stronger for each surprised battle that is on my way…
THANK YOU GOD.